Christ vs. Me

The past couple days have been very humbling. God certainly plans things to happen, so that the focus goes back to Him. About three months ago, I started to feel an annoying bump in my foot. Slowly it was bothering me to the point where just walking was a bit painful. I first thought maybe it was from a bee sting that I recently got and maybe the stinger was still in there? Or maybe there’s a tiny little rock in my foot that is infected? I tried picking at it and it hurt in the middle of the round bump. So I finally went to the doctor’s about a month ago, and my primary care physician said it was a corn! I thought okay cool, this is totally treatable and I can just get over-the-counter stuff. Doctor and dermatologist said to try the over-the-counter stuff for a month, and if that doesn’t work then to come back. I thought I got it out during the month, but it actually came back and was harder. So went to the doctor’s this week and they sent me to the podiatrist. Turns out they diagnosed it wrong the first time and it’s actually a wart! So the podiatrist tried to shave and cut as much as he could without anesthetics and put this weird beetle juice acid on it. I asked him if it would be gone in three weeks since I have my wedding and honeymoon and it’s pretty painful to walk on. He said he couldn’t guarantee that, but the goal was so that I would be at least comfortable enough where I can stand saying my vows and not have to have this painful look on my face. Great…I’m going to hobbling down the aisle.

Decided that since I took half the day off to go to the doctor’s, why not just put my dentist appt. on the same day! Bad idea… My foot was starting to throb and I couldnt walk on it. I’m pretty prideful when it comes to sickness or pain. I still want to do everything that I normally do. So went to dentist and got two cavities fixed. These were a little deeper than normal since I haven’t been to the dentist in three years. So kinda hit my nerves and needed more anesthetics because the drilling start to hurt.

Now, my foot was throbbing and my mouth was numb and I still wanted to do everything. When I got home, I just felt miserable and finally realized that I should just rest at home. I plopped on the couch and complained in my head that I’m in pain right now.

I sat on the couch and God called to my remembrance what I should be thinking about. Christ. I was reading, “The Cross He Bore” this week to help me meditate more deeply on the cross of Christ and what it meant for Christ to suffer on the cross. It sure helped because then I remembered that Christ did not only endure physical and excruciating pain, but also spiritual suffering and agony. Christ was trembling in the Garden of Gethesame because He was about to drink the cup of God’s wrath. Every drop would be poured out on Him because of our sin.

Psalm 75:8 says, “For in the hand of the LORD there is a cup with foaming wine, well mixed, and he pours out from it, and all the wicked of the earth shall drain it down to the dregs.” Psalm 11:6 says, “Let him rain coals on the wicked; fire and sulfur and a scorching wind shall be the portion of their cup.” Isaiah 51:17 says, “Wake yourself, wake yourself, stand up, O Jerusalem, you who have drunk from the hand of the LORD the cup of his wrath, who have drunk to the dregs the bowl, the cup of staggering.” Jeremiah 25:15-38 also talks about the cup of God’s wrath that sinful people were to drink. “…to make them a desolation and a waste, a hissing and a curse…’Thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: Drink, be drunk and vomit, fall and rise no more, because of the sword that I am sending among you.’

One thing that The Cross He Bore said was how Christ fully knows the power of His wrath and judgment. Christ knows exactly what God is capable of and for God to pour his wrath on His Son, what unfathomable suffering! I was so stupid to complain about my tiny throbbing foot, when Christ was crucified on the cross with nails hammered into his feet and wrists. What physical and spiritual suffering that the Lord went through to nail our sins on the cross to pay for my sins. The perfect, sinless, Son of God sacrificed and was fully obedient to the cross for my complaining selfish heart, sins, and my disobedience. Thankful that God had to show me this through my wart and cavities this week.

Hallelujah, what a Savior!

Great Reward

Yesterday’s sermon was very convicting and encouraging. I have read Psalm 19 so many times, but God once again humbled me and showed me that I still need to trust in Him and His perfect word. Pastor John was walking us through the foundations of a healthy church and a non-negotiable is the sufficiency of Scripture. That should also be a non-negotiable for the Christian as well. God’s Word can be trusted and here David sings about the qualities of the word of God.

Psalm 19:7-11 says:

7 The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple;
8 the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes;
9 the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether.
10 More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.
11 Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

In this period of engagement before marriage, I really want to be a good, faithful, godly wife who loves Garrett and does him good the rest of his life. I think too often that I can’t be that wife because of my sin, but God does not give a false hope. Verse 11 says that in keeping the Word there is great reward! There will be great rejoicing if I follow His ways and trust that God will give that reward.

I can’t wait for that rejoicing reward when I get married, but even more so when God rewards me and says that I was a good and faithful servant as a wife and that I can join Him in His heavenly gates.

Hardening of Hearts

God always has a good plan, even when it comes to hardening people’s hearts. In Exodus, God planned it that He Himself would harden Pharaoh’s heart. “When you go back to Egypt, see that you do before Pharaoh all the miracles that I have put in your power. But I will harden his heart, so that he will not let his people go” (Exodus 4:21).

If Pharaoh let the people go, he would not experience the fullness of God’s power and know that He is truly God. God hardened his heart so that the land of Egypt and all its people would see the signs and wonders of God. God reminds Moses multiple times that the reason for the hardening of Pharaoh’s heart was for this reason. “But I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and though I multiply my signs and wonders in the land of Egypt, Pharaoh will not listen to you. Then I will lay my hand on Egypt and bring my hosts, my people the children of Israel, out of the land of Egypt by great acts of judgment. The Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD when I stretch out my hand against Egypt and bring out the people of Israel from among them” (Exodus 7:3-5).

What does this say about God? Paul writes an excellent commentary on this passage in Romans 9. From the beginning, God always set apart a people for His own possession in what the Bible calls, “children of the promise.” God always chose who would be part of His family. “…God’s purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of Him who calls” (Romans 9:11).

God is a God of grace and mercy that even allows some of us to be His children. In love, He predestined those to be chosen and some to have hardened hearts like Pharaoh. But in the end even those who do not know will come to see that God is holy, set apart from us through the greatest sign and wonder, Jesus Christ.

Enjoy Life, Remember God, Fear Him

Ecclesiastes is such a great reminder to remember God and to fear Him in all that I do. This is especially helpful as all the big things are done for the wedding, and now I’m focused more on the smaller details. You can really get caught up in all these pretty flowers, centerpieces, satin ribbons, letterpress, calligraphy, candles, and all the other stuff on those millions of blogs. Come on ladies, I know that all of us have a picture in our head of how we want our weddings to look like. But what does the Preacher say in Ecclesiastes?

Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity (Ecclesiastes 1:2, 12:8).

I have to remember that my life is fleeting and especially material things in this life. I shouldn’t indulge in all these things for the wedding and make it my aim to spend all our money and time on this stuff. Then I considered all my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun (Ecclesiastes 2:11-12). But then I could say, but I’m not spending all this money, I’m doing everything DIY. But how much time will I have to put into that too?

The question I should ask myself is: how am I fearing and remembering God through the wedding planning? At the end of Ecclesiastes, the author, Solomon writes, The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).

Its not that I cant have fun. I truly think God does want me to enjoy this life. Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Walk in the ways of your heart and the sight of your eyes. But know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment (Ecclesiastes 11:9). So yes, I will rejoice and be joyful doing all this wedding planning because I do like doing this event planning stuff. But I need to remember who all this is for and who in the end this will please the most – not my guests or parents, but my Creator and my God. God will judge my heart and ask, “Wury, how are you fearing me today?”

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on John Piper's blog.

Happy Three Years!

Garrett and I celebrated our three year dating anniversary yesterday! Looking back the past three years, I can’t believe how fast that has flown by. I was reminded of this verse and wrote this verse in his card, “So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her” (Genesis 29:20).

When I tell people that we’ve been dating for this long, people can think in this way: “Oh my gosh, three years. That’s forever. I can’t hold for that long.” But I think when you have a right mindset and not have marriage as your idol it’s so doable. And if you truly love someone like Jacob loved Rachel in Genesis, then the years that you date do seem just a few days.

I’m so thankful to have waited three years to be married to Garrett and I know that the 5th, 10th, and silver anniversaries that we will have will seem like just a few days to us still.

Can’t wait for our real anniversary to happen!

Way of Holiness

Forgot to post this one President’s day weekend. But I do need to better at meditating God’s word! This really does keep me accountable.

Ahhh… It’s the end of the week, meaning it’s the weekend now! I’m in LA and SD this weekend and I am so thankful that this is a timely little vacation. I really needed a break from work, home, and from just doing the regular things. This is when I start to see that living is tiresome and I can’t wait to be with God. It’s not that I won’t be doing anything in heaven or in the new heaven and new earth, but that there is no more tarrying in my sinful body and I get to see the ending of everything!

The book of Isaiah has been interesting and sometimes I don’t get what he is prophesying about. But the Spirit wanted me to stop and think on these verses:

“Behold Zion, the city of our appointed feasts! Your eyes will see Jerusalem, and untroubled habitation, an immovable tent, whose stakes will never be plucked up, nor will any of its cords be broken. But there the LORD in majesty will be for us a place of broad rivers and streams, where no galley with oars can go, nor majestic ship can pass. For the LORD is our judge; the LORD is our lawgiver; the LORD is our king; he will save us…And no inhabitant will say, “I am sick”; the people who dwell there will be forgiven their iniquity” (Isaiah 33:20-22, 24).

“And a highway shall be there, and it shall be called the Way of Holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it. It shall belong to those who walk on the way; even if they are fools, they shall not go astray. No lion shall be there, nor shall any ravenous beast come up on it; they shall not be found there, but the redeemed shall walk there. And the ransomed of the LORD shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away” (Isaiah 35:8-10).

I’m glad that there are hard weeks–it makes me look forward to the new life to come. And we believers are on hat highway, the Way of Holiness that we will not go astray on. No matter what happens in this life, God will keep us secure all the way to the Promises Land. I cannot wait for sorrow and sighing that will cease and for the joy and gladness that I will experience when I arrive!